Community demands civility

Three recent, highly publicized incidents have flagrantly exhibited rude behavior. Rep. Joe Wilson called President Obama a liar during Obama’s recent address to a joint session of Congress, about which I have previously written. Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday evening, grabbing the microphone to protest Beyonce’s non-selection. (“A tribute to Jackson, a second speech for Swift at VMAs,” USA Today, September 14, 2009) Serena Williams received a $10,000 fine and possible suspension for her tirade at a line judge for a questionable call after losing in the semifinals of the U.S. Open. (David Waldstein, “Serena Williams Is Fined, and Suspension Is Possible,” New York Times, September 13, 2009)

Each incident triggered widespread public rebukes for the culprit’s rudeness. That’s the good news. Why is there so much rude behavior?

Part of the answer is that civility depends upon people willingly complying with communal norms. As American culture has grown more individualistic over the last fifty years, behavior has become more idiosyncratic, freeing itself from externally imposed communal norms. A pendulum effect is no all too apparent. American society has mover from widespread compliance with communal norms that often unnecessarily and even destructively coerced individuals to conform to so little compliance that identifying communal spirit is becoming increasingly difficult. Consideration for the rights of others should limit an individual’s freedom to assert his or her uniqueness, personality, or beliefs. All three incidents violate that standard.

Another factor in American rudeness is the increased level of stress that characterizes contemporary existence. The greater the stress, the greater the likelihood that people will act inappropriately. Societal emphasis on personal expression further compounds the corrosive effect of increased stress on self-control.

Finally, American culture increasingly prizes emotional expression. Grant Woods’ painting, “American Gothic,” that depicts a stoic couple on their farm has no contemporary equivalent. Today, the American culture prizes emotional exhibitionism (hence the attractiveness of many reality TV shows) rather than the stoic indifference to hardship that encouraged prior generations to persevere. Emotional expression can be healthy. Emotional excess and exhibitionism invite unhealthy behaviors analogous to physical excesses and exhibitionism.

Civilization ends without the benefits of community. Community is impossible without civility between community members. America needs to relearn civility before its community dies.