When winning at any cost is not worth it
The conviction of Dr. Larry Nassar for sexually abusing
gymnasts he treated at Michigan State University and in the Olympic program has
deeply disturbed me.
First, his crimes were heinous and numerous.
Second, numerous enablers were complicit in Nassar’s actions.
These enablers turned a blind eye to warning signs, refused to act on
complaints from the abused, and failed to establish adequate safeguards to
prevent abuse, e.g., never allowing a male physician to see a female patient
without another woman being present. Efforts to hold these enablers accountable
should proceed along with mandating policies and protocols to prevent future
incidents of abuse.
Third, where were the athletes’ parents? International
gymnastics are highly competitive. Successful athletes depend upon family
sacrifices, support, and encouragement. Having a daughter in the ranks of elite
athletes who are part of a winning program feels good for parent(s) and daughter
alike.
However, when the desire to win blinds a parent to the
changes in his/her daughter caused by sexual abuse, then winning is no longer
worth the cost. If one family had blown the whistle on Nassar years ago, that
family’s daughter may not have won the gold. But she would have preserved more
of her mental health, taken a step to reclaim the fulness of her selfhood, and
prevented dozens and dozens of other girls from suffering similar abuse. Those
victories are surely worth more than is a gold medal.
The father who attempted to physically harm Nassar during
the sentencing phase of his trial acted, I strongly suspect, out of an abject
sense of his own failure as a father. The judge wisely declined to take legal
action against that father. Parents who failed to protect their children will
have to live with their guilt. Parents who pushed their child to become a world-class
gymnast when that was not originally the child’s dream will live with a double measure
of guilt.
Children are precious. Parents rightly encourage and supporting
a child’s efforts to achieve her or his personal ambitions – whatever those ambitions
may be. Nevertheless, protecting the well-being of his/her child is a parent’s
sacred duty.
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