Recently, I read some notes that I had made when taking a transition
assistance course for senior officers prior to retiring from the Navy. In those
notes, I found a list of my hobbies: travel, an active lifestyle that included
exercising several times per week and frequent walks with my wife, learning
about and enjoying good food and wine, and reading.
This autumn, cancer has disrupted all four. My damaged vertebra, caused
by my cancer leaching calcium from my spine, no longer permits travel or an
active lifestyle. I have gone from comfortably walking ten miles to feeling
tired after walking a half-mile. (At times, my oncologist (pro-walking) and my
neurosurgeon (anti-walking to avoid damaging my spinal cord) have debated
whether I should walk a half-mile.) I'm currently taking eleven different
medications, each with its own schedule. Three are for chemotherapy; eight are
for coping with side effects that the chemotherapy causes. Even reading is
often difficult because the drugs have shortened my attention span, altered my
moods, and, along with my injured spine, generally made sitting comfortably for
an extended period time impossible.
Now that my cancer is approaching remission, some of my interest in
food (but not in drink, interestingly) has returned. I continue to find dining
in restaurants less attractive, perhaps because it tends to be less physically
comfortable than eating at home. I still do not feel like traveling or leading the
active a lifestyle that I led a year ago. I am reading more, though in much shorter
sessions than prior to having cancer.
These four sets of activities were important factors in my wife
deciding to live in Honolulu and to opt for a condominium in the heart of
Honolulu. We had planned to travel less, taking a major trip biennially instead
of annually. However, we had also intended occasional visits to the other
Hawaiian islands, something that presently exceeds my physical abilities. In
time, I hope that I shall at least have the strength and physical capacity to
travel the relatively short distances to the other islands. Honolulu's climate
is conducive to an active lifestyle. Similarly, I hope that when I have
completed chemotherapy, dining in restaurants, savoring different cuisines, and
exploring different drinks relaxing and pleasurable.
We chose our condominium because of its proximity to the airport; the building
has amenities suitable for an active lifestyle (pool, tennis courts, etc.); lastly,
the building is located within two blocks of a major beach park and a block
from two major shopping areas, hundreds of restaurants, and otherwise supports
a pedestrian lifestyle. Now I wonder whether a condominium in a less congested,
less developed area of Oahu that offered a less pedestrian friendly lifestyle
and fewer amenities might have been the better choice.
However, humans do well to make decisions based upon the best available
information, recognizing that circumstances may change and that no amount of
research will ever lead to making perfect decisions. Living in this condo does
provide an incentive for doing everything I can to regain as much health as
possible. I also know that is likely that I will predecease my wife and that we
live in a location and with the possibility of enjoying the lifestyle that she
prefers.
I also wonder how many of my hobbies I will be able to enjoy in the
future and to what degree I will be able to pursue those hobbies. My cancer has
been a catalyst for reexamining what I want to achieve in the remainder of my
life: how I can best use and enjoy those years. My next Ethical Musings post explore
those topics.
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