Remission and the sword of Damocles
According to the single moral anecdote that mentions him, Damocles – a Greek
name that translated literally means fame of the people – was a courtier
in King Dionysius' court. Damocles, trying to curry Dionysius' favor, was
telling the King how deserving the king was to enjoy such power, wealth, and
fame. Recognizing Damocles' compliments as the obsequious behavior that they
were, Dionysius offered to switch places with Damocles. Damocles quickly agreed
to the swap.
Dionysius, however, before exchanging places with Damocles ordered that
a large sword be suspended by just one hair from a horse's tail directly above
the throne. Once seated upon the throne, Damocles looked around to relish his
great fortune. Seeing the sword that hung so precariously over his head, fear
displaced pleasure and Damocles begged Dionysius to switch places again, each returning
to his original seat. Dionysius agreed, observing that fear always accompanied
great power.
Remission in the case of an incurable, chronic cancer such as multiple
myeloma, can feel similar to sitting under the sword of Damocles. On the one
hand, remission affords an opportunity to return to some semblance of a normal
life and all of the pleasures of that life. On the other hand, there is the certain
knowledge that no matter how long lasting it is, the remission will end, subsequent
remissions will be more difficult to achieve and of shorter duration, and that finally
the cancer will win.
After almost a month with my cancer in remission, the anecdote about
the sword of Damocles highlights several practical truths that have been in the
forefront of my thinking.
First, death is inevitable. Everyone who is born will die.
Second, I am thankful not to know the specifics of when or how I will
die.
Third, fear helps one live abundantly only to the extent that fear
encourages constructive behaviors. For example, I take fifteen plus pills per
day in spite of not a general preference for avoiding drugs because my
physicians think that those medicines will improve both the quality and
quantity of my life.
Fourth, fear unhelpfully limits one's quality of life to the extent
that fear drives behaviors and emotions that diminish one's enjoyment of life while
not improving either the quality or quantity of one's life commensurately.
Illustratively, to avoid any situation that may result in an illness because of
one's compromised immune system would mean trying to live in a completely
sterile environment in which there is no direct contact with other humans.
In sum, savor each moment as if it were one's last.
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